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Martians in Mill Valley
Part 3
Operation Odyssey
At the wheel was Commodore Clerence Virus Reedowtable, the most illustrious figure in the military history of New Atlantis. Considering his age, 356 solar years, and his inexperience with the ship, he was satisfied with his effort landing the craft.
Clarence Redoubtable, his name was adjusted for the purposes of this mission, was not on Earth for military reasons. His mission was diplomatic and he had plenipotentiary power to negotiate with the governments of Earth. In short, he and his two man crew were to prepare the people of Earth for the impending visit of a civilization of people from outer space.
Clarence Redoubtable pushed a button on the dash that broke the door seals. The three men climbed out and stood on the surface of the Earth for the first time. It was a cool June night. There was a light breeze off the ocean. The three men bent down to touch the grass and weeds. They picked up handfuls of sandy soil and let it sift through their fingers. They stood again and gazed at the moon and, in its light, the surrounding countryside. They stayed close together and spoke in low voices.
“Herbert, there is an insect on your cheek.”
“What is it doing, Alfred?”
“Um... looks like it’s withdrawing blood from your skin.”
“What should I do, Commodore?” He asked anxiously.
“We are not to be destructive, Herbert; ignore it.”
“Alfred returned to the ship and switched on the motor simulator. It roared impressively in the quiet. A steady, throaty purr -- a very nice sound, but not exactly what a car should sound like. Herbert scratched his cheek where the insect had been. He noticed another on his arm.
“Turn it down. It’s too loud.” The Commodore ordered.
“Hi.” The three men jumped and turned around. “That’s a beauty of a car you have there. Must admit I’ve never seen a Cadillac fly before.”
Alfred fingered his combination Eveready flashlight and fugue tube. The Commodore was thunderstruck, no one had thought of this. People in rural areas were said to be most dangerous. What to do? The Stranger stood smiling; looking from them to the car. He slapped a mosquito on his wrist.
“Is it alright to kill those insects?” Herbert asked, breaking the silence.
The Commodore threw an angry look at his subordinate, “Now he knows we are aliens,” he thought.
“Sure. Knock’em off or you’ll have bumps that itch like hell.” Herbert started slapping his arms and face ending a minor banquet in progress. “Out here in the country you should wear long sleeved shirts and use insect repellent.” He pulled a tube from his pocket, “I have some here if you want to borrow it.”
Herbert smiled, started to say thank you, but finally remembered himself and turned to the Commodore for approval. The Commodore was exasperated. Hardly on the ground and already everything was going wrong... and it would be his ass. And that was if they got back home. Probably they’d be pitchforked to death by a mob of women and children. Hopeless. Why did he let they talk him out of his hard earned retirement. He gave Herbert a what-the-hell-we’re probably-dead-anyway shrug, turned around and leaned on the ship. Three hundred years in the service; hero in eight wars in a dozen solar systems; and now this.
Herbert walked up to the stranger who said, “Just squirt a little on your fingers and rub it on your exposed skin. They really had a feast on you. I can see some bumps already.”
“Are they out all the time?”
“Depends on the weather. They’re worse at night.”
Alfred hadn’t attracted the mosquitoes like Herbert, but he had been bitten. He looked on with interest.
“My name’s Jeff Pratt, by the way. Would you like to use some, too?”
Alfred stepped up, “Thank you, Jeff Pratt.”
“You can just call me ‘Jeff.’”
Herbert handed him the tube repeating the instructions. He turned to Jeff. “My name is Herbert. This is Alfred and that is Com... Clarence. A pleasure to meet you.”
“Where‘ you guys from?”
The Commodore, still leaned against the ship studying the stars dejectedly, “Oh, New Atlantis, a spaceship nation of ninety-five million people nine light years from Earth,” he imagined Herbert replying. This is our gravity powered spaceship and this flashlight is really a fugue tube, an incapacitating defense weapon... here, want to try it?”
Instead, Herbert hesitated, looking to the Commodore for guidance, “Clarence?”
With the bluff and guts that had made him a household name since before his crew were born, he responded instinctively, making a desperate attempt to save the situation, “We are from out-of-town; just passing through. Thanks for the assistance; it was wonderful meeting you. We must be getting on now.” He started for the driver’s seat.
“Come on! Way out of town I’d say. Let me tag along with you... I can fill you in on mosquitoes and things. Look, I just graduated from college and I’m hoping to be a science fiction writer... this is the break of a lifetime. And I can help you. Those clothes you’re wearing are as out of date as your car. You’ll stand out like a sore thumb if I don’t get you some new things.”
The Commodore hit the roof of the ship with his fist, “Phud.” It was getting worse. He could see this mission turning into an endless chain of impossible decisions. He hit the roof again.
“You could at least give me a ride into Santa Cruz. My car broke down up the road. I was walking to town when I saw you land.”
“Commodore, we could probably learn more with a native guide. Surely there are other problems we haven’t thought of,” Herbert added.
“Maybe we should surrender to the nearest policeman and get it over with,” the Commodore mumbled to himself.
“What, Sir?”
“For instance: the police will stop your car if they notice your license plate is twenty years out of date,” Jeff added.
“Can you get us a new one?” Herbert asked.
“We can take the one off my car... you won’t need a drivers license or a title unless you are stopped for some other reason.”
The Commodore sighed, “Alright. Where is your car?”
***
***
Mrs. Pratt made-up the bunk beds in Jeff’s room for the young men, and changed the sheets on the bed in Darleen’s room for the Commodore. Jeff’s sister, Darleen, having just graduated high school, was on a senior class outing to Disneyland. The men brought their bags into the house. The Commodore was the first into the kitchen, where Mrs Pratt was heating cider and brownies. “Hello, Mrs. Pratt. My name is Clarence Redoubtable. It’s very kind of you to put us up like this.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Clarence. Jeffrey tells me you are from outer space.”
“Yes.” He sat there recalling all the times he had been warned that people on Earth would become hysterical if they learned they were talking to aliens.
Mrs. Pratt patted her grey hair, “You must forgive the way I look. I was already in bed when Jeffry came in.”
“You look very nice,” Clarence said sincerely. “We thank you again for your courtesy... for letting us stay here the night.”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all. The kids are always bringing home friends -- I don’t mind. It’s nice to have the house full of people. Here, try a sip of cider and tell me if it’s warm enough.”
“Mrs. Pratt...”
“Dorothy.”
“Dorothy, we are unaccustomed to Earth foods and it may take us some time to adjust. We have rations in our vehicle.”
“Well it wouldn't hurt you to try a sip and see what you think.” Just then the others came in.
“Actually this is quite tasty.”
Mrs. Pratt poured cider for everyone and served the brownies, then sat down for her own snack. “What brings you to Earth, Clarence?”
Everyone stopped eating and looked at Clarence, who debated with himself what to say. “It is difficult to explain... we are here on behalf of our government which would like to establish diplomatic relations with the governments of Earth. Our job is to see if this will be possible. To see if our peoples can get along.”
“Well, I certainly hope everything works out. How is it you look so like us?”
“That’s the complicated part.” He hesitated, decided what-the-hell, the truth is the simplest, and continued, “Our ancestors left Earth thousands of years ago and we have been in space ever since. Our home is called New Atlantis because we are an off-shoot of the old Atlantian civilization. New Atlantis is a giant spaceship that holds millions of people. Two years ago we left New Atlantis on our journey here. I must ask you not to repeat this to anyone -- I really am exceeding my authority by telling you all this.” He reached for a brownie, but Jeff had beaten him to it.
“Jeffry got the last one, Clarence. Remind me in the morning and I’ll make you some more tomorrow.”
“Thank you, but don’t go to any trouble.” Everyone helped clear the dishes.
“See you in the morning, Mom.”
“G’night, Dear. Don’t you boys stay-up all night talking. Good night, Clarence.”
“Goodnight, Mrs Pratt.”
“Dorothy,” she corrected.
“Goodnight, Dorothy.”
***
Something moved behind his knee. He eased the fugue tube from under his pillow; sat up quickly pointing the weapon at Darleen’s cat, Kahil, who opened one sleepy eye and fired a lethal look. Kahil then rolled away from Clarence to the edge of the bed, stretched once, exposing his claws, and returned to sleep. Clarence leaned back against the ruffles on the headboard and glanced at the cover of a Rod McKuen book on the bed table.
He got up and went into the head. What he needed was a plan, he had to regain control of the situation. He sat on the john looking at his under shorts gathered around his ankles and tried to think of a plan. The door opened and Mrs. Pratt walked in. “There you are. Just be a second... have to get the dirty clothes from the hamper... there. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes or so.” The door closed. Clarence returned the lavender towel to the rack. It was five minutes before he could retrace his train of thought.
***
After breakfast, Alfred and Herbert went through Jeff’s clothes and found things to wear. With a little taking in at the cuffs and sleeves, the late Mr. Pratt’s clothes fit Clarence acceptably. Mr. Pratt had died several years before, so his clothes were still a bit out of date -- but better than what Clarence had been wearing.
The four men drove around town with Jeff pointing out attractions and answering questions. They inspected a drug store, a hardware store, a supermarket (and picked-up several pounds of apples and some mint jelly for Mrs Pratt), and the J.C. Penny store where they charged some new clothes. They stopped at Jack-in-the-Box for lunch.
After lunch they drove down the coast sightseeing. Alfred noticed how the girls on the beach were dressed and suggested walking out to the water. Clarence, shoes and socks in hand, reached the water first and stuck his toes into the surf. It was cold. He turned around to discover he was alone. The others had stopped fifty yards away and were talking to some girls. Clarence harrumphed. He watched a formation of pelicans skimming the surf just off the beach and thought about something else. When the young men joined him he had collected three broken sea shells and was contemplating picking-up a jellyfish.
***
Dinner featured lamb with mint jelly. Dessert was apple pie with vanilla ice cream.
8:00 pm found Clarence in the living room rocker and Dorothy knitting on the sofa, “You were telling me about the Ruffians,” she said, looking up.
“Raafians,” Clarence corrected. “That was in the First Raafian War. They demanded tribute which we refused to pay; so they sent a war fleet against us. I had ten dreadnoughts and thirty corsairs in two fleets, almost all the ships we had then. We slipped up on them near a double star almost three hundred light years from here and...”
“More hot chocolate?”
“No, thank you. And we cut them to ribbons with our proton cannons. Took them fifty years to match that weapon. I remember Pard Wilvorn, my Chief of Staff, saying, ‘Admiral, they won’t forget that licking you gave-em for a long time.’ And they didn’t either. And when they attacked us again years later they had superior weapons but I beat them with tactics and experience. And I would have driven ‘em clear out of the galaxy if the government hadn’t called me off and made peace with the dogs.” He rocked slowly, shaking his head with disgust.
“Well I must say, you certainly have lead an exciting life. Three hundred fifty-six years did you say? Because of spending so much time moving faster than the speed of light. Amazing.”
“A man has to do his job. And of course it wasn’t all rough. I recall a little planet we visited....”
***
“Why does he just stand there spitting... isn’t he supposed to throw the ball?” Herbert wanted to know.
Jeff started to explain about signs, when Alfred interrupted. “Come on, Herbert, we’re not going to get in trouble just because we go out with some girls. They said at mission control that we should learn as much about the people and life here as we could.” Alfred had his mind on things other than baseball... or the mission, for that matter.
“I don’t see how we can do it without giving ourselves away. What can we talk about? There are millions of things they could ask us, things that everybody knows, that we don’t know anything about.”
Jeff tried to reassure him, “Herbert, after the movie you can talk about the movie and before that you can ask Becky about herself -- it’s her favorite subject -- you won’t have to say a word. Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t plan to do that much talking anyway.” Alfred added with a laugh.
“If you can talk the Commodore into letting us go, I’ll go; but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Let’s go try.” Alfred and Jeff entered the living room interrupting a story about a planet populated by herds of three legged, pink herbivores who spent their days eating the blue grass under a gold sky and singing in choruses of thousands.
“Excuse us, Commodore. Jeff has made arrangements for us to meet socially with some other people here. I’m sure this would prove a valuable extension of our mission. Would this be alright?”
“Would these other people be young ladies by any chance?”
“Yes. Some friends of mine I haven’t seen since I left town for college. They won’t have to know anything about your identities, I’ve told them Herbert and Alfred are friends from college and that you are Herbert’s uncle.”
Clarence looked stubborn.
“I’m sure there wouldn’t be any harm in the boys going out to a movie with some friends. You are going to a movie, aren’t you?” Mrs. Pratt asked.
“Yes. ‘King Kong Meets Dirty Harry’ downtown. Barbara said we should meet at her house at 8:30 and go together.”
“After being cooped up in the car for two years it should be good for them to get out a bit.”
“Most of the time they were in hibernation,” Clarence answered lamely. “Remember where you are and don’t get in any trouble. Report to me the moment you return.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Jeffry, say hello to Barbara’s mother for me. And don’t be too late, Dear.”
“We won’t, Mom.”
***
“He’s not going to buy that,” Herbert countered. He was hoarse from talking. “This is still a mission and we’re supposed to cover more ground.”
“Yeah? Well I covered a lot of ground tonight,” Al snickered. “Why didn’t you try anything with Becky, Herbert? You think she just wanted to see the movie?”
Herbert blushed, “I don’t even know her. Anyway, I was trying to gather data for the mission -- the movie was very interesting and may give us some indication how Earth people will react to our news.”
“Uh huh.” Al replied.
“I’ll tell the Commodore we’re back.”
“Good, he’ll get mad at anyone who wakes him, and I don’t want it to be me.”
Herbert wasn’t disappointed when he couldn’t find Clarence in his bedroom or bathroom. So he quickly left a note on the bed table and retired to Jeff’s room before the Commodore could turn up again.
***
“Did you boys have a good time last night?”
“Yes, Mam. I hope we can stay here longer.” Al answered.
“I think that would be nice, too; but Clarence has decided you should start north today. Speaking of Clarence, why don’t one of you boys go call him in, or his eggs will be cold before he eats them.”
***
After breakfast they packed up and said goodbye to Mrs. Pratt. Clarence was the last out of the house; he hesitated at the door hoping to remember he had forgotten something.
“You’ll come back before you leave Earth, won’t you?”
“I don’t know. I hope so. Goodbye, Dorothy.” He got into the ship and turned on the motor simulator.
“Goodbye, Jeffry. Be careful.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Goodbye, Mrs. Pratt.”
The hero of twelve solar systems gazed dejectedly at the rolling countryside as they rode north toward San Jose. Herbert checked the automatic television and radio monitors. Alfred and Jeff discussed the Giants chances for a second pennant.
In San Jose they stopped at a McDonald’s for lunch, then continued north toward San Francisco. After stopping briefly in Palo Alto and several other places on the way, they arrived in San Francisco late in the afternoon and found a motel with a pool on Lombard Street. After the car was unloaded, they all went for a swim.
Back at the room. Al showed the Commodore the report he, Herbert, and Jeff had contrived to demonstrate the benefits of their evening at the movies. It looked very good, so Clarence could hardly refuse when they asked for another evening off to mingle and gather data. Rather than spend the evening alone in the motel room, Clarence decided to do his own reconnaissance. He hailed a taxi on Lombard, and told the driver to take him where the night life was. A few minutes later he was standing on the corner of Broadway and Columbus.
***
Al was standing in the bathroom talking with Jeff, who was brushing his teeth. “After you left we went to the Pierce Street Annex and Noreen taught me how to dance. She’s such a terrific girl. It’s too bad you got sick like that. How many of those Sunrises did you drink?”
“I don’t remember,” Jeff didn’t want to think about it. “Look who’s here.”
“Hi.” Herbert walked in with a big grin.
“Where did you disappear to last night?” Al asked.
“I went out for some air.” (Actually he had given up all hope of picking up a girl and was on his way back to the motel.) “And this woman, Jenny, asked me to help her park her car. So I did, and then she took me to the big disco at the Mother Lode and we danced and had a few drinks and... then we went to her apartment. She thinks I’m cute. How did you make out with Noreen?”
Al looked shocked, “Noreen isn’t that kind of girl.” He walked into the other room. Herbert gave Jeff a puzzled look to which Jeff shrugged and smiled.
The Commodore was still hiding under his pillow, so they left him to suffer alone and went to Zim’s for breakfast.
“After 356 years you’d think I’d know better than that.” He thought to himself... quietly.
***
It wasn’t until 1:00 pm that they finally set off to tour the city. They went first to Fisherman’s Wharf and looked at the shops and tourist things. Then they drove across town to Golden Gate Park and visited the Natural History and Art museums. By 5:00 pm they were on their way back to the motel. But first they stopped at a gas station to use the phones. Al called Noreen, while Herbert called Jenny, while Jeff called his mother.
“Hi, Mom... Yeah, we’re fine. Just called to say we’re okay and we are going to stay in the city for a couple more days... Yeah. He’s right here. You want to talk to him?” To Clarence, “She wants to talk to you.”
Clarence who had been standing nearby fidgeting, took the phone, covered the mouthpiece and asked Jeff to go over to the car and get the notebook he left on the seat.
Jeff returned with the notebook. “What?” Oh, thank you,” Clarence slipped it in his pocket. “Jeff’s back so I’ll let him talk to you.”
“Jeffry, Barbara is here and she wants to talk to you about something...”
“Jeff?”
“Hi, Barb. What’s up?”
“Promise you won’t be mad at me.”
“Barbara this is a long distance call, don’t be coy.”
“I told Ann about the aliens. She’s my best friend and it would be like a violation of trust if I didn’t confide in her.”
“Okay. Okay. If you did, you did. She knows not to spread it around doesn’t she?”
“She only told her boyfriend.”
“Uh huh. Who’s that?”
“Tod Wheelwright.”
“The sheriff's son? How nice. I suppose he...”
“Yes. And they towed in your car and talked to Becky and Robin. Jeff, I feel real bad about this. Please say you’re not mad.”
“Yeah, right. Let me think a minute... all they have is our license plate number and our descriptions but that’s not too bad. They don’t know where in California we are or what the car looks like. Right?”
“....”
“Barb? They don’t know about the car do they?”
“But Jeff, that’s the best part of the story... the old Cadillac that flies.”
“I gotta go, I’ll kill you later, Barbara.”
He went to Herbert’s phone booth, “We have to go.”
“Right.” To the phone, “Jenny, I have to go. Talk to you soon... Will you really? Me too. Bye.” He hung up beaming, “She said she’s going to miss me in bed tonight.”
He was so delighted he didn’t need a response, so Jeff ignored him and nudged Al, “Gotta go.”
“Noreen... Oh, Noreen...” He started to sniffle.
Jeff grabbed the phone, “Noreen, Al has to go. He’ll call you later. Bye.”
“I love you!” Al shouted emotionally at the phone, though it looked to the tourist family at the pumps like he was saying this to Jeff.
“Mommy, why did that man say...”
“Shut up, Cindy Lee, and get back in the car” her father shouted.
On the way to the motel Jeff explained the situation to the others. Clarence decided to pack up and get out of town. Clarence found that he had a plan again. Al argued against leaving town as they quickly packed their things and loaded the car. Half an hour after the call, they were on Lombard driving for the bridge. But they never made it.
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