315. Martians in Mill Valley - Part 2

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Martians in Mill Valley

Part 2

(Translated from the Atlantian.)

“This is Kite Andax Witrow with Blue Sector Communication’s  News On The Hour.”

 *Sounder* 

“Tonight, the 6:00 news is sponsored by Angel’s Massage parlors -- there’s an Angel in your neighborhood.

“Top stories this hour: Earth expedition returning after successful mission; Commodore Reedowtable does it again; Settlement reached in Air Workers strike; and, Federal Councilman Rudle today denied that the Octopus-Osprey coalition’s future is bleak and proposed a new ten year plan at a Veterans of Intergalactic Wars Congress.

“But first, the local news and an up-to-the-moment report from Turl Felix Duban in Commuter Watch One. Turl... Are you there, Turl?... I guess he isn’t. We’ll get back....” 

“Kite?”

“Turl, can you hear me now?”

“What?”

“Turl?”

“Right, Kite. The Trans-abyss Flyover Tube is shooting smooth; but I can see congestion on the Blue side approach interface of the Blue-Gold Inter-sector tube. There is also a blockage on the Transverse Intra-sector Express Conveyor at about Node B-11. But overall, traffic is moving well. Kite.”

“Say Turl, what’s it look like out there?”

“Like I said, traffic is flowing smoothly except...”

“No, Turl. I mean outside.”

“You mean...”

“Yeah.”

“Uhhh... Well... It’s mostly, well, black... with lots of little points of light... stars, you know.”

“Uh huh.”

“....”

“Well, thanks Turl. We’ll get back to you later for another report..

“In local news: Dangela Eudo Blitnor, Octopus Party committee person in Node- A-9, was indicted today on a charge of ballot tampering in last month’s vice-satrapial election. President Blurg approved plans for a bypass pedestrian conveyor between Nodes C-4 and B-6 to be completed within four years. Sector weather will continue within comfort norms with temperatures in Nodes B-1, C-12, and B-8 rising slowly back to comfort mean. The Department of Environment warns that the heat wave in Node C2 will continue for at least two more days. The gravity reading, here at our Blue Communications offices, is point 9-2 and steady.

“After a word from our sponsor, we’ll be back with regional and national news.”

“Hi, Sugar. Have a rough day? Does the Little Woman have that nasty headache again? Well, come on down to Angel, Honey, and she’ll make you feel all better. Angel’s Massage Parlors, 553 locations all over New Atlantis. Cartelcards welcome... and also good old cash. Nebula Value Stamps with each Private Hot Session. Remember, Sugar, at Angel’s We’ll Do It.”

“Returning to the news, Under-Viceroy Cheetnam disclosed inflation rose two percentage points in the past quarter to 19%. This makes 1,157 consecutive quarters of double digit inflation.

“The stock market fell below 1,000 in disgruntled trading. Market analysts pointed to the inflation report and continuing uncertainty about the future of the Octopus-Osprey coalition government following last month’s scandal as explanation for the poor showing. Government spokespeople, however, dismissed the one hundred point one day drop as a “Friday Funk.”

“On the war fronts: Commodore Reedowtable routed the Raafian Main Fleet in fighting near supply base Hector. Observers at the scene report there is no longer any organized opposition on the Raafian front. Admiral Doonder, on the other hand, remains optimistic following the loss of two more ships to Dool ambush. The threatened Lodi colony has been successfully evacuated.

“The top story of the hour: Polymath Doodle at Mission Control reported today that The Burlingame Explorer is on its way back to New Atlantis after a successful mission. Commander Byootiful, on board the Burlingame Explorer, termed the operation routine and uneventful. The stealth surveillance satellite left in Earth orbit is operating perfectly and will continue provide us with data for at least fifty years. Polymath Doodle also announced that preliminary data suggests the target area, called “California” by Earthmen, is inhabited by two distinct tribal ethnic groups: civilized and sane in the north; degenerate and unbalanced in the south. 

“And that’s the 6:00 news from Blue Sector Communication on this the 23rd day of May 3257 N.C.”

***

(Translator’s note: N.C. stands for New Calendar. Also, the middle name of an Atlantian indicates sexual orientation. For instance, Kite Witrow’s middle name, “Andax,” indicates that he is heterosexual, impotent, and sterile, among other things. There are ninety-seven different middle names now in use on New Atlantis.)

***

“The following is a paid political announcement.”

“For 370 years the Osprey and Octopus parties have governed New Atlantis, either singly or in concert. Their Galactic Imperialism has bred graft, corruption, inefficiency, and death. We of the Phoenix party, the party of rebirth, urge you to replace rapine with responsibility and vote for Phoenix party council persons in next month’s Federal election. Thank you.”

***

“With tonight’s Blue Communication Editorial, here’s station manager Grouch Hendwik.”

“It is now 3265 N.C. and the Phoenix party has controlled the Council of Eleven for half the ten year term they were elected to. It is time, I think, for an assessment. The most obvious changes in the past five years have been in foreign policy. We have pulled out of three hostile solar systems and made peace, on unfavorable terms, with the Raafians and the Dool. The military has been cut by a quarter. The Federal budget by a third. Retrenchment has not pleased everyone, but most citizens seem to approve the actions of the new government. For the first time in three hundred years the rate of inflation has fallen below ten percent and many observers are predicting a five percent rate by the end of the decade.

“For the first time in four hundred years we are not at war anywhere in the galaxy. Council person Larksbar has spoken of a Golden Age of science and culture, and this prospect does seem within our grasp.

“And yet there is a blemish on the record of the Phoenix administration -- the cancellation of the Earth expedition. In a little more that twenty years we will re-enter our ancestral solar system, and we will sorely miss the information this project would have given us. It is still not too late, though every passing year makes the task more risky. I urge you to write the Council of Eleven and ask that this crucial project be reconsidered. Thank you.”

***

*Sounder*
“A quick summary of the hour’s top stories: Phoenix party retains power in coalition with Albatross party. Government orders resumption of Earth project, renamed Operation Odyssey; Stock Market falls below 1,000 with news of new Phoenix government; arson suspected in fire that killed twenty in Node B-3 last night.

“And now a quick report from Commuter Watch One, Turl?”

“Right, Kite. There’s just a mess of a jam-up on the Blue-Red Tube. If you’re going to Red Sector I suggest you detour by way of Green Sector.

“That new C-4, B-6 bypass conveyor may have taken over thirteen years to complete but it is finally working smoothly which should ease congestion in the middle tier.

“Kite, I just gotta tell you how beautiful it is out here this afternoon. The titanic bulk of New Atlantis is a womb-like, soft, warm, orange mass filling the heavens. A glorious shelter in the infinite black void of space.”

“Okay, Turl. After this word from...”

“And Kite, you know the old Mother Ship just looks alive with all the tubes shooting, and you can just sense all the millions of people in there eating and sleeping, living and dying, loving and dreaming....”

“Yeah, Turl. Must be something. Now this word from our sponsor.”

***

“This is Grouch Hendwik with another Blue Communications editorial. When the government cut Operation Odyssey from ten ships to one in 3273, I cried betrayal, but at least the project survived. Now, only two years later, the life of Operation Odyssey is in mortal danger. The three month strike by the Amalgamated Gravity Workers has stopped work with no resumption in sight. We can not allow such a vital project to be left literally up in the air at the whim of a renegade labor union. The government must end this disastrous strike quickly... one way or another. Thank you.”

***

“Today is a proud day for the government and people of New Atlantis. In a few moments the Operation Odyssey crew, led by Commodore Reedowtable, will set out for Earth. What has happened there in the fifteen years since our satellite failed, we do not know. But we are confident our people will be able to successfully carry out their mission -- to gather essential information on the present inhabitants of Earth, and to pave the way for the establishment of peaceful relations between our people and the people of Earth.”

***

And thus it was that a brave crew of three Atlantians left New Atlantis, 3,276 years after the exiling of their ancestors, and set out for Earth in a ship that was an exact replica of a 1958 Cadillac. They would reach Earth, ten light years away, in two solar years and land in Northern California in the early summer of 1979 CE by the local calendar.