Bloggity-blog: 272. Still trying to become a better person

Before I resume A History of Europe...

Why I "green"

Of the many reasons I "green," the most difficult for me is the one I learned (again) this past weekend. The main reasons are that it's "good" work, in the Buddhist sense, and it both gets me out of the house to events I would otherwise never see, and it keeps me in good physical shape. These are the reasons that easily come to mind. But the other reason is just as important, if more difficult for me to remember.

I have a list of things I need to have with me when I leave the house for a greening gig. At the top of that list I've written in the largest letters, "CHILL." What I have in mind here are the annoying recycling scavengers and the annoying food vendors, two groups that make our work harder than it has to be. But there's yet another group that I need to chill about, and here's an example from this past weekend at Cinco de Mayo.

This one, dip-shit, event attendee decided the place to eat his lunch was sitting right next to one of our eco-stations with the pizza box holding his food actually resting across two of the eco-station box containers (landfill and compost). Not only was his pizza box blocking me from cleaning out the station, but the chair he was sitting on all but blocked me from approaching the eco-station. To get past him, I had to lift the almost full compost bag I was carrying over him and his pizza. He took exception to this. And he was right, I was being an ass-hole.

This is a prime example of a situation where I should just chill. It isn't that important and, as satisfying as it was, my actions were unprofessional. Fuck-wittery will always exist and reacting to it doesn't help. I can blame the fact I was running late for my lunch break, but regardless, this is something I need to work on.

Otherwise, the event went smoothly. My favorite crew chief was working the event so, at the end, I felt fine taking over my end of the street and directing the others in closing down our stations. With anyone else I would have needed to clear it with them, but J___ and I are always on the same page with things like this. I had the busier half of the event, yet we wrapped up first and then helped the others shut down the other half. And thus more recycling and compost was diverted.

Tomorrow, back to Pirenne... I'm almost sure.

P.S.

I'm still procrastinating, not sure why. Anyway, last night I had another dream that featured one of my parents -- not my mother, which would have been appropriate since tomorrow is Mother's Day. There's certainly nothing surprising about frequently dreaming about your parents, but what is a little uncanny is when you wake up, or semi-wake up, and remember -- have to reestablish in your mind -- that they are actually dead. I'm sure this is devastating for parents who have lost their children.

There is a period of time, in these situations, when your mental assertions do not seem particularly convincing, given the evidence of the dream you are still coming out of. You think, could I be wrong about this? Which is the dream?

I remain grateful that in my dreams my parents are always the people they were, not what they had been reduced to at the time they died. Dostoevsky, in The Brothers K, insists that people become most themselves as they approach death. I have yet to witness this. But even if that actually happened, would you want to remember people in your dreams the way you had known them all your life, or the way they had been for a brief time just before death?

And here are some random photographs. First the Salesforce Tower. Not sure if they are entirely finished inside, but this is the way the exterior is going to look,