347. The Rainbow Comes and Goes

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The Rainbow Comes and Goes

by Anderson Cooper & Gloria Vanderbilt
Harper 2016


This is not one of those books that resonates on a personal level. Nothing about Gloria’s childhood reminds me of my own... except perhaps being put in the position of deciding who you want to stay with as parent. And fortunately I was a few important years older and had the sense to not give a straight answer.

Also, I have to say that the lives of the wealthy (and the gentry) aren’t encouraging when it comes to thinking about Guaranteed Minimum Income (GMI.) It’s true that the options for women at this time were unfairly limited, but it’s not like men come out looking much better. Or that’s my impression. Though is P.G. Wodehouse really the best model for economic ideas? Perhaps not. Though if GMI could be expected to produce something on the order of "The Crime Wave at Blandings" on any kind of a regular basis I guess I would have to vote for it.

P108-109 AND we’re back to free will vs determinism. How surprising that Gloria and I are on the same page here. I would not have guessed that.

Actually, re-reading the passage again, I see that we don't actually agree at all, or not completely. She says, "...but I do believe in a mysterious force secretly in charge of our destiny, enabling us to make life bearable and keep moving even when times are tough. The end will turn out as it was always meant to be. Yes, from the beginning, we have nothing to do but wait.

"Our choices are preset from the beginning. Whatever direction a person's life goes in was destined. It was meant to happen in precisely that way, although we do not as yet know why."

I noticed the determinism and somehow managed to ignore the phrases in bold that argue for a guiding force. As philosophy I find this less than compelling, but it is interesting in showing how someone like this thinks -- that her successes are destined so all she has to do is get to work. 

P160 “But I really got the power to leave Stokowski only when I met Frank Sinatra.” Now it sounds like she’s just making shit up. Though this is still so consistent with her lack of self-esteem. I was glad that she finally cut off her mother, even if that was mostly Stokowski.

It is interesting -- not to say appalling -- the way such a damaged young woman seems to have been like catnip to so many men. Her first husband might as well have been a pimp, but the famous men that followed were in their own way just as bad. I would love to have been able to ask her what she thought of Lydia in P&P -- she mentions reading this during her first marriage. Gloria is like a cross between Lydia Bennett and The Bolter. First you think less of the men who woo her and then you start to pity them.


P246 It strikes me now, reading this about how children always blame themselves for their parent’s divorces and deaths and other failures, that I never was subject to this. I didn’t understand what was wrong with my parents, but I never thought it had anything to do with me. And this isn’t to say I was oblivious or unaffected -- I’m surprised I didn’t have ulcers or other serious complications. I just wanted them to stop, or else for me to get away from them. Which seems very like me, and not entirely a good thing.

And that's really all I have to say about this book. It was interesting enough, but gave me surprisingly little to think about. I do wish I could have asked Gloria about Lydia and The Bolter.